Navigating Self Comparison
Recently I’ve found myself spending a significant amount of my time comparing my life to others. Comparing myself, my journey, my “successes” or “failures”, my physical attributes, what I have, what I don’t have, where I live, my job(s), my level of freedom - the list goes on and on. It very quickly sends me down a rabbit hole of negativity. It makes me believe that I am lacking, and that others are living far superior lives or are doing so much more than I am. Social media (of course) is a beautiful and a dangerous tool. I often go between wanting to keep it around so that I can strive towards these dream lives I see others living, and wanting to delete everything to limit any negative traps I may succumb to.
We so often compare ourselves to others…to friends, family, even strangers. Whether it’s over material earthly possessions…financial abundance or hardship…business or career positions…and even our own personal life path. We are our own worst critics, usually making ourselves smaller than the next person. We can easily fall into this space of comparison and consequently self-loathing, often without even being consciously aware that we’re doing it. We begin to almost feel sorry for ourselves, diminishing our true essence, rather than recognizing how much abundance we already have in our lives at that exact moment. We probably have food, shelter, freedom, family or friends, jobs, our health or at least the air in our lungs. And just like that - when you turn the dial to gratitude for what you do have rather than frustration over what you think you don’t have - the narrative changes. The outlook changes. The frequency automatically changes. This is the quickest way to pull ourselves out of a lower, denser frequency and back into a Higher state of Being.
When we find ourselves in this darker headspace, it’s best to try to pull ourselves out by remembering:
Take what you see with a grain of salt. As we all know, people only show what they want to display through social media or in conversations. Not many people are open to sharing their hardships publicly, making their lives seem more perfect or unrelatable than they likely are.
Others could be comparing their own lives to you!
Recognize what your Ego is telling you (the louder voice) - can you identify it as separate from your Higher Self (the quieter voice) - and let it go before it takes you down into a negative space. Switch the narrative from a place of frustration and lack to a place of gratitude and abundance. You already have everything you need in this exact moment. All is well.
Come back to your own presence when recognizing that everyone is on their own path, unfolding and blooming at their own time. Geraniums have very different blooming cycles than Zinnia, but they are just as beautiful. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or your own divine timing. Trust the journey and the process, don’t force anything that’s not meant to be.
Enjoy the current moment. Don’t let your life slip away while waiting for something better. These are how the “good days” pass us by, because we’re too busy anticipating the next phase rather than enjoying the current phase.
Tips and tricks to help feel better if you find yourself in a more negative mindset:
Get away from the cell phone. Hide it in a drawer and leave it there. Allow yourself (x) amount of time before recollecting it & actually stick to that! See if you can add to the duration over time.
Go outside! Reconnect with nature, ground barefoot in the grass, find the sun and let it naturally warm your skin. Lay in the grass and just stare at the sky: count the stars or watch the clouds go by.
Go on a walk, run, bike ride, dance, exercise - whatever movement calls to you - just get out of your head and into your body.
Meditate, pray, or journal. Get the thoughts from your head out onto paper. Acknowledge and let them go as you write. If you’re more visual, light the piece of paper on fire (safely) to let the words burn away.
Self care is a priority: draw yourself a sacred bath, light candles, prepare tea (or wine), and soak in the healing water. Maybe you get fancy with a homemade facial. Take the time to exfoliate and moisturize your skin from head to toe. Cook a delicious and nutritious homemade meal with whole foods to nourish your body from the inside out.
We are all going through and experiencing the same things! It’s okay, normal, and understandable. Allow yourself that freedom rather than getting irritated or frustrated with yourself and your own process. Talk about it with someone you trust that will hold space for you.
A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms. - Zen Shin
